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James Young

Science fiction and alternative history author

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A Little Gallows Humor

June 8, 2017 by James Young Leave a Comment

So there was a discussion of World War II on a friend’s FB page.  Specifically, we were discussing the Red Army’s rampage through Eastern Germany in mid-1945.  This, of course, got me thinking about how history has…evolved when discussing certain events.  Perhaps a sliding scale is in order:

Young’s Ascending Levels of War Crime Severity

  1. “My opponents can’t cry to the refs, so they’re crying to the Hague. Thank goodness we mailed in our funding check last week.”
  2. “Mildly uncomfortable discussing in polite company, but still good cricket, ol’ boy.”
  3. “They did it first, we’re doing it last, and by God we’re going to be running the damn tribunals when this is over…”
  4. “Okay, so one more time: Our story when the JAG interviews us is…”
  5. “Thank God for the modern chemical industry, flammable evidence, and CNN budget cuts.”
  6. “Well yeah we took scalps, but it’s not like we took their ears. Okay, fine, we didn’t take the ears of anyone under 15.”
  7. “Action Jackson?  No, I’m Andrew Jackson…”
  8. “Bad news, Honey:  Your Hague appointed attorney is not sure if they will have more luck arguing you did not receive enough mandatory training, were born 5 centuries too late, or are experiencing a persistent spiritual possession by Simon De Montfort…”
  9. “We’re going to spend the next “x” years shrugging our shoulders and going, ‘Meh, it was a different era…’ when asked about this.”
  10. *somber narrator voice* “Genghis Khan looked down upon their acts from Valhalla.  He proceeded to giggle like a blushing school girl.”

Filed Under: Random Confession Tagged With: Crack Fic, Sharing

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